letting go

… is so hard to do, especially when you want to hold on to the negative emotion(s) attached to the situation. Recently, my mother revealed (after I asked) that she had told many people that Daniel and I are expecting, namely my two brothers. I was surprised and disappointed that she had not kept the secret per our request. My mother justified it by saying it is part of the our culture to never lie when someone asked if we were expecting. I beg to differ, especially if the person never asked and you’re blurting it out because you’re too excited. I got off the phone with my mother and told Daniel and a handful of my friends what had happened. Some related to my emotions while others said that it’s to be expected given this is her first grandchild. I so badly wanted to hold onto the negative emotions I had towards my mother because I knew I was right and thought she should apologize. At the same time I knew that holding on only negatively impacted me because she didn’t have any remorse for what she did. I realized that ruminating over the situation or holding onto the expectation of her apologizing was not helping me. I was told by one of my yoga instructors that I needed to simply “let go.” Let go? What do you mean? Allow her to get away with such behavior? What she did wasn’t right… I went home and reflected and realized that my yoga instructor was right; I needed to let go. I needed to stop thinking about what my mother did, why I thought she was wrong and I was right, how she should apologize, and how dare she do what she did. I.let.go. And boy did I feel free… free from actively thinking about the situation and releasing the emotions attached to it all. It took active work because everytime the situation entered my mind, I needed to tell it to go away and that there was nothing I could do to change it. At the end of the day, it’s true- my mother is excited to be a first time grandma and that was her motive for wanting to spread the news. I saw my mother recently (she lives in CT) and our visit with her and my dad was pleasant. She still never apologized, and I am okay with that.

My question to you is: What are you still holding onto that you would like to let go of? What have you let go of recently of that you want to proudly proclaim to cyberworld?

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About Reaksmey

hi :) i'm reaksmey (reeks-may) and I love to think, reflect, and grow. do you? my life includes a handsome husband and a lively infant. here's where i write about how i grow through life's ups and downs so that i can humbly encourage you daily.
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2 Responses to letting go

  1. Sergio says:

    My experience with negative emotions is that it usually reflects unwarranted disappointment in my own self for someone else’s misdeeds or unmet expectations. I think that comes from my perfectionist impulse. What do you think?

    I’ll tell you what I recently let go of. The constant worry of not having enough, which I’m sure, was connected to my former desire to have stuff. Thanks to listening to a good audio by Rabbi Daniel Lappin, I’m developing more of a spiritual view of business and money.

    Reaksmey Reply:

    Hi Sergio!
    I believe the desire for perfection in yourself and others can be related to negative emotions. I will be writing a post about that in the near future. I am glad to hear you have let go of the worry associated with not having enough. We will never have enough because when we find we’ve obtained what we’ve wanted, we will always want or need more.

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