it’s all about delivery

… of your message. I had to learn this lesson the hard way; when the messages I was giving  people were too blunt, and in some ways, harsh. It was never my intention to make anyone feel bad; it was more to share my feedback and give them solutions. I eventually learned that there’s a better way to achieve what I was setting out to do. I think it may have been from Daniel and/or from mentors who shared with me that it’s all about delivery. “Delivery? Why beat around the bush or fluff it up?” I’d ask. “This will take me much longer…” The answer is that people like to hear constructive feedback mixed with positive feedback, and that at the end of the day, you want to make sure the person walks away understanding she/he has an area for growth, but also feels supported, appreciated, and empowered. There’s a lot to consider! Quickly I learned the sandwich approach; positive feedback, constructive feedback, positive feedback. Easy, right? It can be; I’m still learning how to smooth out the different sections when communicating with someone. :) Another approach that’s worked for me is delivering constructive feedback from the heart. To approach someone with compassion, honesty, and humility (I’m not perfect; I have been there before; and I too am still growing). I try my best to let the person know that I’m there for them and the feedback I am offering is 1) my opinion/ perspective and 2) a part of developing yourself; everyone goes through it (as a way to normalize it). These approaches also tie in with the concept of responding versus reacting to someone. I will admit I am still growing in this area; I’m definitely not a natural at it. Thus, I will continue to observe how others phrase and approach delivering their messages to develop this part of me.

Do you have suggestions?

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About Reaksmey

hi :) i'm reaksmey (reeks-may) and I love to think, reflect, and grow. do you? my life includes a handsome husband and a lively infant. here's where i write about how i grow through life's ups and downs so that i can humbly encourage you daily.
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2 Responses to it’s all about delivery

  1. Astrid says:

    I agree that feedback should be delivered with tact, but I’m not sure that giving the positive feedback sandwich is a method that works for people. In my experience, feedback when given should be direct and in regards to a person’s actions or lack thereof and not the personality, but padding it with positive things that the other person has done also detracts away from the real point of the message, which was to deliver feedback on a particular insufficient action.

    Reaksmey Reply:

    I think different people require different approaches to receiving feedback and as the deliverer, it’s trial and error. I like to first do the sandwich approach so that there’s always a positive (non-personality related) so that the person at least knows there’s one thing they’re doing right or of quality. If I find the person would rather cut to the chase, which I’m guessing you are the type, I can directly share the feedback. Also, using the sandwich approach can mean that there’s more weight (time and energy) spent on the constructive feedback and the “buns” (open and closing remarks) take a lot less time and there to buffer the feedback session.

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