Is it positive or negative? For instance, if you look in the mirror to check yourself out, do you regularly compliment yourself? Or, do you note how you wish this and that looked differently? When you complete a task, do you congratulate yourself? Or, do you criticize yourself for a job not well done? I am proud to say I have grown in giving myself positive self-talk when evaluating my appearance. In the past I used to criticize it and wish I looked differently. After a lot of self-work (which I’ll discuss in the future), body image insecurities are in my past (whoohoo!) However, the latter example with how I evaluate my work is still an area for growth. I discovered that I engage in a lot of negative self-talk regarding my performance. This has always been my norm so when I started reading up on it, I was shocked! I wasn’t even aware I was doing this and that it wasn’t promoting my growth. An example of negative self-talk is when I say to myself: “Eh, you finished the project, you could have done x and y better… What were you thinking?” As you can see, there is no ounce of positive talk to myself. When this discovery occurred, I felt bad for myself; how dare I speak to myself so negatively?! Especially when I am quick to praise other people and encourage them to be less hard on themselves. But then at the same time, this is all I’ve known and how can I counter it? I knew it’d be hard and take practice. Now when I complete a task, I am conscious about not criticizing myself. I can give myself constructive feedback, but it is not demeaning. I will say to myself, “You did it! You finished the task! You did the best you could given your a and b restraints. Next time you can do x and y, and this opportunity has taught you that.” At the end of the day, you are your worst critic, but more powerful, you can be your best cheerleader. I encourage you to engage in positive self-talk as much as possible! I am trying.
Back to my original question: how do you talk to yourself? Do you have suggestions on how to engage in more positive self-talk?