…until you’re in a very similar boat. And even if you’re in a similar situation, it’s still hard to know exactly how the other person thinks or feels. Therefore, it’s hard to say how we would think or act based on picturing ourselves in their shoes. For me, there were many thoughts I had about motherhood and child rearing based on what I saw other families do and/or what I generally thought about a topic. I was so certain about my positions on particular topics that surely I would not change my mind once I got to a similar spot. I was wrong. I’m writing this post because my thoughts and decisions on some of my previous positions have changed since entering motherhood. I thought I understood what this new life entailed but I was mistaken on some aspects of it until I actually became a mother. I now admire women who are effective mothers because I now understand a bit more the hard work and sacrifice that is involved. Thus, I make sure to let them know because before I didn’t appreciate their efforts as much as I do now. Further, I had judgments about others’ parenting decisions concluding I would never do the same once I had to make decisions in that realm. For example, I was committed to having Zane in our room for less than a week. I previously thought it wouldn’t be as hard to implement my will for our newborn. Wrong again. We tried twice and because it was unsuccessful, he is still in our room a month later. Had you asked me this prior to his birth, I would be adament that this would be unacceptable and woukd judge parents who room-shared with their newborn more than one week. Now that I’m in this situation and having to make intuitive decisions that I believe is best for our family, I find myself making decisions that I once judged. This is just one of the many examples of me finding myself with a new perspective. Going back to my point, you really don’t know what you’ll do in a situation until you’re in a similar boat. You can predict what you’ll do or think when picturing yourself in that scenario, but it’s not a given you will follow through on it when the time comes. So before you pass judgment and stand firm about something you actually having experienced, try to leave some wiggle room for a possible new perspective and chance to understand more.
Has this happened tho you before? I find it to be a humbling moment in which I am called to apologize to, acknowledge, and appreciate the other person.