In life, time is used to measure objective and subjective things. For example, to get from point A to point B takes 10 minutes. That is an objective measurement. A subjective measurement is the first time someone tells another, “I love you.” For the latter example, each person gets to that point differently. I remember I was the first one to drop the L-bomb to Daniel. Sweetly, he said it back but I knew deep down he just wasn’t there yet. Turns out he was 2 weeks later. This idea that everyone gets to particular moments in their lives in their own time has resonated with me lately. It’s so easy for me to read baby information and listen to others’ baby milestone moments and look to Zane to do exactly as I’ve been told. I was a culprit of this when I tried desperately to “make” him nap several times a day at around 1.5-2 hours. I drove myself nuts and he wasn’t having it. Once I let go of this need to conform him to be like other babies, and had no expectations, he started taking naps several times a day and fought me less on it. He began doing this in his own time. I needed to understand and be reminded that my time is unique to me and my development and being. Likewise, although he is an infant, I cannot tamper too much with his developmental time either. I think once we respect others and ourselves of the subjective time we need to get to particular moments or decisions, we will be happier with ourselves. I’ve learned that research, others’ experiences, and my own desires need to take the back seat to let things organically come to fruition.
What are your thoughts about wanting to control subjective timing? Do you have an example?