Recently I wrote about ask and you shall receive in regards to your communication of wants with your partner. Today’s post sounds like it contradicts the aforementioned post, and it does in one way, but also shines light into the minds of some of us women. To put simply, sometimes I wish Daniel read my mind and knew what I wanted so that I wouldn’t have to ask him accordingly. Unfortunately, this will never be the case. So I resort to asking and receiving what I want instead. However, there are times when I don’t want to ask, understanding fully that he is not a mind reader. Sometimes I want him to be thoughtful about what I may want. His need to employ this was essential when Zane was first born and I was nursing around the clock. Because I was always with him, it was likely that right after his feed, he would need a diaper change. In my “not having to ask” dream, Daniel would sweep on by and thoughtfully say, “Honey, let me give you a break and let me change his diaper.” HEHE, I laugh as I write this and imagine it. Instead, the reality is me asking Daniel, “Babe, can you come and change him please?! I need a break!!” After a handful of these interactions, you can imagine how it went down between us. Daniel argued that I should just tell him what I need and I argued that I shouldn’t always have to and that it’s obvious that I need a break. Since then he has been trying to be more thoughtful so that I don’t have to ask. After speaking with a handful of my lady friends who dream of the same thing, we believe it comes down to thoughtfulness. Hoping our significant others would take the time to think, “What can I do for my partner proactively so that she/he doesn’t need to ask my help with it?” Of course we can’t always be perfect with this, but I think the effort would be appreciated.
Can you relate to this? What solutions to this dilemma have you found helpful for your relationship?