Back in the day, I used to swim in self-pity about my life’s troubles. I used to blame everyone and everything instead of changing what I could- my attitude, perspective, behavior, and beliefs. Needless to say, I didn’t grow from my pain. Now, I am a little bit older and wiser. When looking back on my pain, I realize that each one served a purpose. For example, after being in a relationship with a knucklehead for a little over a year, I knew my self-worth, what I wanted in a partner, and what I deserved. I would never have gotten to that point had I not been mistreated by someone that bad. Yes, the pain and experience were horrible- I sometimes want to slap myself for being naive for remaining in the relationship, but I submit to the fact that the pain had a purpose. So in a sense I wouldn’t trade that learning experience if I could erase it from my past. More recently, I am discovering this is the same case with working with people. Now entering into a relationship with a boss and co-workers, I am coming across a similar discovery. The challenges I’ve experienced at my previous employment have equipped me for this new employment opportunity. I now know with confidence my worth and all that I bring to the table. Even though at the time I was driven to doubt myself and feel insecure, I have recovered and know the truth about myself. I vow to not put up with mistreatment like that again. In general, I’d say both experiences have made me stronger. With purpose, after the pain subsided, I have grown more into myself and therefore have brought more “me” into both relationships. I do not sacrifice my authenticity out of fear or others’ insecurities anymore.
This reflection has been interesting to me. What are your thoughts about the pain you’ve been through and what purpose they served?