In our relationship, I am the one who always wants to spend time with Daniel or just be near him. He, on the other hand, is not that type. He loves to have his own space and time alone. I never took offense to it, but I sure have tried not to honor it. For instance, when he’s reading, I love to just begin a conversation or go and sit on him. The kind person that he is doesn’t reprimand me, but does remind me to honor his request, hehe. Along this vain, Daniel and I share different interests. I love yoga, shopping, and packing my schedule with social gatherings. He, on the other hand, loves surfing, reading, and spending time on his own. Because I am the way I am (mentioned in the first line), I would wish and try hard to get Daniel to be interested in the same activities I enjoyed. For example, I invited him (or should I say dragged him) to a deep relaxation yoga class with me once. Although I loved that he joined me, he fell asleep! Needless to say, it wasn’t worth it to have him come along. I also have tried having him join me during my shopping sprees. Even though he has told me many times how much he hates shopping, I always wonder while we’re out and about why I even bother. He is miserable, which makes me miserable. So I’m getting to the point that I have accepted that we have different interests, and that it’s okay. We do not need to be attached at the hip for everything. We already spend so much time together that it’s healthy and necessary for us to part ways. Now, he attends church activities on his own (that typically I would have loved to be with him), but I understand that he needs to learn, grow, and have fun on his own. Since I’ve made this shift, it has enriched our marriage because we are able to still be separate people, but function as a couple. We are much happier as well.
How about you? Are you similar to me or Daniel? Did you have to learn and grow in this area or did you know how to do it already?