I love this wisdom: “Have a life before you become a wife,” shared by Beyonce. This was her answer to a question Oprah asked her regarding the success of her marriage to Jay-Z. This belief resonated with me because I believe there is great value in following it. I think so often as women, we are waiting for prince charming to come along and make our lives. It’s as if we’re putting our lives on hold or living very slowly in hopes that our dream guy will come along and give us a reason for living a full life. I can say this thought passed through my mind many times. I spent time dreaming about Mr. Right and wondering when he’d come and where we’d meet. Once we met and fell in love, I dreamed of the life we would have together and how I’d be so happy. I laugh as I write this because this seems to be how us gals dream for some reason; I wonder where we learn it from? This way of thinking did not lend itself to a fulfilling life for myself before Daniel arrived. My thoughts did not involve creating a life that I wanted for myself that was comprehensive and meaningful that when Daniel entered, he would be a piece of it that would grow to become a bigger piece in my puzzle called life. I didn’t think about what I wanted to accomplish in the next 5 years, such as how I’d further my education, what hobbies I wanted to explore, where I wanted to travel, etc. Luckily I did catch myself not having a life while Daniel and I were in a long distance relationship and when we first united for good. It was at that point that I committed to going back to graduate school, serve abroad, have my own group of girl friends, and partake in yoga. I accomplished all of them except the serving abroad, which now has morphed into Daniel wanting to join me (and Zane too). So, my point is, it’s very important to not lose yourself in the new life you may share with your partner. It’s important to have your own life, especially when you first enter a relationship. It empowers you to be independent and have your own identity.
So I ask you, did you have a life before you became a wife?