In many of my conversations, people will ask me, “How will I know if he’s ‘the one’?” or “How do I know [x]?” And I always answer, “You know. I can’t explain it. There will just be no doubt.” From there, I’ll still be challenged because the person will not believe me. They want signs, measurables, etc. However, the beauty of how we were designed was that we have an innate understanding of when the right connection has been made or when something isn’t good for us. I, too, before I met Daniel, did not believe I would ever have this “knowing” feeling. I would quiz many people about it who had found true love. Interestingly, those who did not subscribe to this belief told me, “You just weigh the good and the bad about the person and if they’re a good person, then that’s a worthy reason to marry someone.” (I’m glad I didn’t take the latter advice). After being with Daniel for less than 6 months, I “knew” he was a keeper. Did I think we’d commit to a long distance relationship and he’d pick up everything and move to the States for me? No way! But he did, and we both took a huge risk to enter and maintain our courtship based on this “knowing” feeling. We just “knew” that we had something special, and in addition, our values and beliefs aligned. And it’s this “knowing” feeling that encouraged me to marry him without a hesitant thought in my mind. (Keep in mind, I was very skeptical of marriage given the divorce rate and my trust issues). In sum, I think the gift of this “knowing” feeling is one that we should embrace and trust in when all other objective measures fail. It’s allowing your heart (within reason) to guide your decisions versus letting your mind override. And when you know, be thankful that you have experienced this gift and submit to it. Not everyone gets there for whatever reason whether it be in their love life, career, friendships, etc.
What have you experienced in life that you just knew? Did you listen, rationalize, or reject it away? Where has it led you now?