This past weekend, Daniel and I had two date days thanks to friends watching Zane. The date I’d like to share about is the first one, which comprised of going to Starbucks and indulging in some yummy drinks and conversation. Sitting in Starbucks and having meaningful conversation isn’t out of the ordinary for us in that we communicate a lot when we are together and it doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing. However, we do especially enjoy these occasions since we don’t need to juggle the responsibility of watching Zane, even when he is sleeping. Anyways, what was interesting about sitting in Starbucks together was what we observed… that we were the only ones in there not with some sort of technology in hand or staring at a screen. This observation did and didn’t surprise me. I knew that a lot of these folks were doing work, whatever work means to them. We were the only couple there to enjoy each others’ company. So that could be one reason, but still! Daniel and I could have whipped out our phones (not that there’s media on it) and disengaged or distracted ourselves with our technology. I have seen this when we’re out at restaurants and are people watching. Of course I don’t know each person’s situation, but I’m not sure if it’s the best “being present and engaged” approach if one or both parties are searching things on their iPhone, checking Facebook, etc. How would the other person feel, even if it’s “for a second?” I know I am definitely guilty of this. When I used to have a Blackberry, I’d check work emails all the time, especially when Daniel turned his head, hehe. Now it’s onto my Nexus that I have nearly attached to my hip. I wish I had more discipline, so I strive to be more present and engaged with Daniel when we are together. So when I am (like at Starbucks), and am reminded of others who may not be, it’s an encouragement to me and to you, to think twice before reaching for that piece of technology.
When in these moments, you can ask yourself: Is it necessary? Why don’t I make direct eye contact and actively listen to my partner or friend? How can I make the other person feel that I am 110% all theirs?