Since I was little, I strove for perfection in everything I did. (I think my parents pushed me towards this mindset- a 99% score on a test was never good enough; I needed a 100%). So in all areas of my life I wanted to be perfect- straight A’s, perfect body, perfect penmanship, tidy bedroom, good-looking clothes and shoes, etc. If anything had any sign of wear or error, I was not content. Even my teachers leveraged this area of growth of mine by utilizing my “perfect” handwriting to be their class note taker or chalkboard writer. As I got older, this need for perfection meant I always wanted to be as detailed as possible on work assignments and that on any given day, my house was clean and most things were put away. Although there is no such thing as perfection, it’s interesting that I still aim for it. It’s as if I need something to constantly strive for and “what is” is not good enough and therefore needs work. Luckily, with Zane’s arrival and time being limited, I am discovering that I need to desperately say goodbye to perfection. The time has come. For example, I know it will not be realistic for my house to be tidy all the time. I know my mommy friends with older and multiple kids laugh at me (out loud or silently) because I try to tidy up even as their kids are running around being kids. I know I will have to let this go once Zane starts moving about and having his toys everywhere. This will be difficult for me because tidyness relaxes me as I look around and like what I see. Secondly, I can’t be perfect in all realms of my life because I can’t invest the same amount of time to each area (ie. friendships, marriage, self-care, home decoration, etc.) I don’t intend to do the bare minimum, but I can’t be hard on myself if I don’t text someone back in a timely manner or one frame doesn’t have a real picture in it yet. I need to let it go and accept it’s current status. I can’t do it all. It is not realistic for me to have everything in my life in order. And most importantly, I am not perfect. So I will mess up with my loved ones and I will mess up with myself as well as I go along. And, the beauty of it all is, the world will not end and I will be okay.
Do you struggle with perfection too? How do you deal with understanding it’s not realistic? If you’ve conquered it, what’s your wisdom?