Ever meet someone you connect with so well so that it doesn’t take any work? Conversation topics flow from one to another and there’s never a moment you have to think about what to bring up next. And when there’s silence, it feels so good on your heart and you feel peaceful and fulfilled. Your cup feels full. For me, I love when I meet someone I have a true connection with. It’s a gift that far exceeds anything materialistic (even a nice handbag, haha). I’ve been blessed to experience these types of connections with a handful of people. And I just love spending time with these people because my heart is happy. It’s like this quote: “True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.” So why am I spending so much words to describe this? Because what I find interesting is that sometimes I settle for a mediocre connection with someone when I know what the real deal is! What does this look like? Continually getting together with someone who it takes work to having a conversation with. Unfortunately, it’s like pulling teeth to get to know the other person. And when I speak about something, the response I get is a few words and then the topic is done. I’m sitting there trying to rack my brain for something to speak about next. My heart is definitely not happy in these interactions, but rather, my whole body is tense because I’d rather be by myself. It’s not the other person’s fault; the reality is that there is no true connection present. I should have decided after a few of these mediocre interactions to cease them from happening again. It’s not a good use of my time and does not energize me. I know this might all sound harsh, and I don’t mean it to be. I’m sharing all this more so out of curiosity as to why I even choose to settle for the latter connection. It’s as if I am trying to make someone become what I’m hoping when in reality after a few encounters, I should have a sense of how the person is and decide to remain good friends or acquaintances.
Do you do this too? If so, what drives it? If you’re great at discerning, how do you go about it?