Ask yourself the question, “Does my partner correct me?” What I mean by this question is, when you need to be imparted wisdom, directed towards a new direction, shared another perspective, told that you’re wrong, or that you’re being too dramatic… does your partner communicate accordingly? Daniel definitely corrects me. It’s how I’ve become a better person and what I appreciate about him. I need to be corrected, especially when I am straying off topic or away from my beliefs and values by acting and reacting out of my character. You wouldn’t believe it, but I love it (if done well)! It was funny- awhile ago, our former neighbor made a joke to Daniel that he probably never puts me in my place because I am too sweet looking. Daniel laughed out loud. I did too. There’s no way our marriage would be successful if either of us was too afraid or apathetic towards correcting one another. It’s a nice, sweet challenge. So for example, if I am upset with someone about something they did, Daniel does not take my side necessary. (I operate similarly.) We listen to the whole story and although we try to empathize with each others’ situation and feelings, we try to encourage (by correction) if there’s an area either of one needs to still grow in. Of course in the moment neither one of us wants to be corrected, but after the novelty of the situation wears down, both of us agree that the correction needs to be made. I believe being corrected (with love and grace) is necessary by our partner. He/she knows us best and knows our areas for growth. If Daniel overlooked opportunities where I needed to be corrected, my personal growth would be stunted because he feared giving me feedback or didn’t care to challenge me. Of course delivery is what makes the difference when being corrected. We can always work on that more! 😉
Encourage your partner to correct you so that you can grow (more) into yourself!