I’ve always heard the term, “picking your battles,” and come to know it as choosing the moments that mean the most to me to “battle” it out with the other person and letting go of other unimportant ones. Therefore, I am not battling with the person on everything. Recently, I visited my family in CT and thought this would be a great time to employ this mentality when it came to doing anything with Zane. I knew I had to pick my battles because I would ultimately lose if I decided to stick strictly to the ways I wanted it done with caring for Zane. What did this look like? If my mom wanted to bathe Zane twice or more a day- okay! (Even after I said once a day was sufficient. And, it would take place in the sink bowl!) I was forbidden to allow Zane to cry at all, namely during nap or nighttime. (Zane was actually “rescued” during one of his naps when I attempted to allow him to cry. Thus, bad habits were reinforced.) Interestingly, letting go of trying to reinforce my stance on how I wanted things done with Zane gave me a lot of peace. This made sense because I let go of control, but didn’t make sense because it could potentially backfire on me when I returned home. But what I thought about was, “What’s the big deal?!” What if he has multiple bath times? What if I let him stay up past his bedtime EST time? Further, what was eye opening for me was that I actually learned a few things from letting go and not choosing to battle it out. I learned new recipes to cook for Zane, a different way to clean him, and new things that made him happy. Oh, the joys of a battle-free visit! So although I went into the trip thinking I would have to stand my ground on a few things, I found that me letting go here and there also encouraged my parents to listen to my requests when I was firm (but not battle-like) about it. What a great lesson I learned!
Where in your life do you feel like you always “picking your battles?” Do you think you can let go a little more and aim for a battle-free relationship?