men need space

I am still very much in love with my husband. From the beginning, I have been a puppy for his love. I’m like a dog who waits at the door for his owner to come home wagging her tail enthusiastically. And on the days I’m tired, I’m doing just that in my heart. Whenever Daniel and I reunite, typically from a work day apart, I am excited to see him. Since I’m a talker, I love to share about my day, reflections, questions, and hear about his day. On top of this, I want to spend time with him. Of course I like my me time, but instead of doing other tasks that I need to do, I’d rather be lovingly “bothering” Daniel while he is enjoying his space. Even in the first years of us being together, I held back from having girl dates and doing leisure activities (ie. yoga) because I wanted all my time to be with Daniel. For us, this was not a recipe for a healthy marriage and individual personal growth. At some point I had to come to terms that Daniel did not want to spend all his free time with me. As much as he loved me and enjoyed my company, he needed space. For him, space meant he could read, watch movies that I didn’t like, have a man date sporadically, go surfing, etc. I knew having time apart was healthy and when I finally embraced it, our marriage was better and each of us felt we had an identity outside of “us.” When we spent time together, we appreciated it more because it didn’t happen all the time. Now even with Zane and less time available for anything, we still commit to this. We even encourage each other to join bible studies on our own and do activities that fit our individual interests. For me, although it means I have to watch Zane on the weekend or weeknight more because Daniel isn’t available to help, I know it is best for him and our marriage. I will conclude with a disclaimer that this approach doesn’t work for every couple. Some couples do love being together all the time; just not us. However, I do notice that when men (especially) do get their space from their partners, it seems to lead to a happier, healthier relationship.

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About Reaksmey

hi :) i'm reaksmey (reeks-may) and I love to think, reflect, and grow. do you? my life includes a handsome husband and a lively infant. here's where i write about how i grow through life's ups and downs so that i can humbly encourage you daily.
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One Response to men need space

  1. linda says:

    I think this a male trait… my brother and my dad need lots of space. Jay’s space is the garage
    and doing dirty plumbing jobs because he knows I won’t join in! He is tricky that way!!!!

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