I was talking with a new mommy friend recently and after reflecting on our conversation, I realized that I have new needs now that I’m in a new role in my life. I had never thought of it this way. I just thought my needs have always been the same pre-baby and now I have a little more, such as me time and date night, etc. However, what I discovered is that since I am a stay-at-home mom, I have new needs from myself, Daniel, and my friends. How interesting! So for example, to myself- I need to be more forgiving if I make a childrearing mistake and resting when I have opportunities. From my husband, I need him to take Zane for a couple of hours here and there so that I can have time to myself. Also, I need him to affirm and share his appreciation for my hard work. Lastly, from my friends, I need their sympathy or empathy, and support and encouragement as I have my ups and downs with motherhood. I share all this because these are new needs. In the past I didn’t need as much affirmations from Daniel. We both worked and did well in our jobs. Here and there we needed support and encouragement when we didn’t feel appreciated at work, but I never needed to hear him say, “You are a great worker!” Now I need him to say now and then, “Thanks for taking such good care of Zane! We love you!” And from my friends, more than ever, I realized I need them to be my cheerleaders and shoulders to cry on when I just want to quit or had a rough day. Their words of: “I totally hear ya! I didn’t eat a proper meal today,” remind me that I am not alone. Whereas in the past I didn’t need my friends in this way. So learning this about myself and assessing what my new needs are has been an eye opener. I’m becoming a different woman and need to share my new needs with myself and my loved ones. I cannot expect them to meet my needs if they are not knowledgeable about them.
Have you thought about your needs? Have you shared them with loved ones?