This question can be asked in many contexts in your life and interactions with various people. I can come up with a list of examples but I’ll focus on three. The first example has been a very pronounce, recent issue. When I’d see parents give their kids technology to distract or soothe them, I’d claim that I’d never do that. The problem is, I’ve created this scenario for myself within our household. To soothe or buy time, I’d give Zane the tablet to watch nursery rhymes. I think his obsession with the tablet was first built on me always having it around and using it. When I’d nurse him or feed him, I’d be multitasking or allowing myself me time by browsing online. Both factors combined have led Zane to seriously go nuts when he sees the tablet and cannot use it for his entertainment. This is not the message I intended, yet clearly it is the message I sent him: the tablet is valuable, cool, and a must have at all times. Now in order to remedy this I have to hide the tablets and spend more time with books and toys to engage him. And for me, to not need to use it whenever I have a spare moment. The second example has to do with taking care of myself and leaving Zane with Daniel or other people. Like I’ve always mentioned in my previous posts, I think self-care is so important. I feel like I receive a sufficient amount of it, which I am thankful about. What message does this send Zane? That I care about myself and find it necessary to part from him and our family to be able to achieve this priority. That I love him and will always come back to him. Adding to this line of thought, I even find it important that Zane sees that I dress up and take care of my looks and hygiene. If I hung out in sweats all the time and didn’t groom myself, what messages am I sending him? And lastly, I am always interested in examining people’s “what you say” compared to their “what you do.” What always gets me is when people say, “Let’s get together,” and it never happens. Then I will see that they are able to make time for other people or activities. Yes, I don’t know the full picture, but it does send some messages that are hard to dodge. (I’ll admit I am on the other end of this too and definitely partake in sending the same messages knowingly or unknowingly). In sum, we are always sending people messages. Sometimes its reception is processed erroneously by the other person, while other times, it is a mirror to how you are acting, thinking, and feeling. I think it is important to check yourself sometimes. I know I need to with Zane around always checking out what I’m doing and saying!