When I visited my parents in March, I came across a trinket that said, “A friend’s eye is a good mirror.” As I sat there and stared at the object, I thought about it. The wisdom is true if the friend and I have the type of friendship in which honest and open feedback can be shared. As much as my good friends and I have meaningful, deep friendships, I think I’d have to ask for their feedback in order for this saying to come true. Sadly, sometimes I’m too scared to hear what they’ll say so I refrain from asking… Since my encounter with this quote, I’ve thought about this idea of someone holding a mirror up to me and me seeing myself in regards to how I act, speak, think, etc. As much as I reflect and think I am self-aware, I just don’t see or know how I am. Interestingly, these past couple of months, I have had the opportunity to spend time with a dear friend who is very similar to me. Observing her and being with her regularly has opened my eyes (in a good way) to how I am. I notice how I am easily distracted by things that “come up,” so therefore it may mean I don’t complete my task at hand. I notice how I share everything I’m thinking of doing and do not specify my deadline or its priority on my list. I notice how I am indecisive about decisions sometimes and can waver. And the list goes on. Having my friend as a real mirror in front of me provided me the opportunity me to see what Daniel sees when he gets frustrated with me because now I can see both sides clearly and objectively. In turn, my “aha moment” has encouraged me to grow in the areas I desire knowing now how it may negatively affect him. Of course I’ll still hang onto much of “this is me,” but after having this priceless opportunity has been a significant catalyst to modify my behavior and articulate my sharing so that it works for Daniel more.
What or who do you use as a mirror to see yourself?