It is Friday and my hopes to blog twice a week are going down the drain. This is a weekly struggle for me, but with my new priorities in place, I am starting to accept that my blog does not come in top place. Realistically, it is #6 or later. Per the book I am reading, my new priorities in order are: God, Daniel, Zane, home, me, and others. As you can see, blogging can fall under “me,” but this week yoga took precedent. But like I said, now that I am committing more to these focused priorities, using my time wisely to prepare meals daily, and chiseling at my endless to-do list, I feel like I am becoming more of a good wife and productive stay-at-home mom! Focusing less on myself never felt so good! This week has been a well done week for me in that I don’t feel like I am wasting my time browsing at senseless things on the internet. Okay, to be honest, I still do, but it is for less than 15 minutes versus 30+ minutes. When I have spare time I am chopping vegetables or getting back to a friend who has been patiently waiting for my response. And above all, I am focusing on my husband and trying to make him feel loved, respected, and admired. This new me (which I intend to keep around) is in turn making Daniel very happy and pleased. Daniel typically doesn’t pour out compliments regarding my productivity and processes, so when he had glowing feedback and high fives for me the other night, I was very happy. It encouraged me to keep this up and for me to have confidence that I can bring forth my productive ways (from the work place) into the household. Yes, it only took me about 20 months to get there, but who’s counting?! I just knew something had to change for our household, my own sense of fulfilment, and pleasing my hubby. Further, when we add a second child (no I am not pregnant), I will need to juggle more! I might as well be more organized now. Lastly, this new change also helped when Zane got sick this week. In the past, his sickness would make everything else be in array and I’d have to depend on Daniel more for help. Because I am more organized, this is no longer the case and I have time to freely soothe him and not be distracted and stressed that dinner isn’t ready. Or even worst, “What should I cook for dinner?!” Yay for this mama!
Thank you to my productive rock star mamas who provided me insight into their home life so that I can implement new habits into our home.
By now I’ve got a pretty good idea what my days look like in regards to when Zane will nap. I typically have a play date until at the latest 1:30 pm, he naps on the way home, and I transfer him into bed once he awakes. By the time he awakes typically three hours later, I cook and daddy comes home. This past Tuesday, this was not the case. He was quite grouchy in the morning and acting peculiar. We had swim lessons at 11:15 am and I debated on bringing him. I felt bad wasting the money and felt I may be just giving up prematurely so I got us ready anyways. I prayed for a sign to forgo swimming and the sign came when he felt asleep as we got there. (He never naps this early)! As I was just reaching the pool, I decided not to push it and awake him because surely he needed to sleep at that moment. Even though I knew this completely disrupted my day, I should have listened to my mommy instincts to known that he was having an off day and to not even push swimming upon him. He awoke two hours later at 1pm and we had a WHOLE day ahead of us, plus he was whiny if we did anything to his dislike. Therefore I had no other choice than to go walking with his buggy at Mission Bay and had a day centered around him. Happy toddler = easier, peaceful day. I’m glad I gave in and didn’t push it. Along this line of not pushing it, the current book I am reading encourages me to not nag Daniel for anything. The cool terminology she calls it is, stop being their “personal Holy Spirit.” Meaning, there is no need for me to make it my responsibility to encourage (or tell, demand, beg, etc) to change in a particular area or to do something. This wisdom of “don’t push it” dovetailed with her belief. I can truly encourage him to grow and share opportunities with him, but there’s no need for me to be actively helping him achieve such results. As his wife, I can instead pray for God to change him because he has the power, not me. Discovering this was in a way a relief because this means I can take more of a back seat with his personal growth. It is not up to me to make it a priority on my list. Meanwhile, I can personally strive to be the best I can be- how God’s made me.
What, who, and/or where in your life do you push it? Instead, how can you take away your control and allow God to take the reins and you as His child will obey and follow?
Personal holy spirit
Finally I am motivated to make changes to my days, weeks, and months since having Zane. Before having a child, and both of us working, life was a lot simpler. Weekdays were spent at the office and when I got home, I made dinner, and then the night would be near over. I didn’t have to be responsible for much of anything else. Now there’s way more to incorporate and accomplish and many days there seems to not be enough time. The day passes quickly, I’m too tired after Zane goes to bed to even think about my husband or even myself. And others, heck no! But I want to strive for more. I want my days to be intentional and productive. And for my family and myself to be proud of my efforts and see how it contributes to a happy household and marriage. So I bought the book, “Creative Counterparts,” to help me with my endeavor! I am a quarter of the way in and am happy with the author’s practical suggestions, connections to the Bible, and similar struggles and perseverance. Her stories normalize my experiences and therefore encourages me to move forward to aspire to be a Godly woman, wife, and mother! My hope while reading the book is that it will help me to prioritize the people in my life better, break some bad habits, prioritize tasks better, and life a more fruitful life. So today while Zane napped, I YouTube’d yoga and had time to finish a one hour session. This saved me time from visiting a studio, money, and leaving Daniel with Zane. I felt great afterwards and know that I will feel the benefits in the days to come. Also, I chose to chisel away at my task list and got some things done. This approach is contrary to my tendency to want to lay in bed and rest/nap. I desperately want to, but knew that getting in some productive me time and completing tasks would make me more of an effective stay-at-home mother and wife. The book also offered charts to detail meal plans, grocery shopping, and adding tasks to a calendar. I’m going too figure out if I can find an app to accomplish this or if I may need to revert back to the paper-pencil method. There is a lot more to do, and of course read, but so far so good. I already feel my change in attitude and motivation, which will only lead to good results! I am excited to become a creative counterpart!
How do you keep you household in order with kids and while doing so maintain your marriage and self-care? Any tips in general with this initiative?