the two year mark 

In my last job, I noticed after being in my role for nearly two years, I was finally starting to get comfortable. Professionals in the field were starting to call me for educational programs and others sought to collaborate with me. It was a great result after feeling like I had to be on overdrive to get my name out in the field and prove that the work we did was quality and that I was quality. Then I left to go on maternity leave and never returned… 

   I liken that experience to our move here. For two years I was on overdrive; I was trying to make friends, create a community, find a church, support Daniel as he started his own business, have a baby, set up house, and the list goes on. The two years that passed were busy, stressful, and filled with many changes to say the least. It was an emotional rollercoaster that left me questioning when I would feel more like myself again. I was not fully myself and clouded at times with decision making and emotions. We would wonder when we would have a break because it seemed like we were either sick, very stressed, or just missing something or someone. (I know what we went through was normal, but many times we felt alone going through the journey).  Then we reached the two year mark…  and it was as if the clouds parted. I found emotional stability through my new Christian mentor and discovered some areas for growth. I committed to being a better friend to new and old friends.. . focus more on the kiddos knowing time with them is running out before they go to school… found a side job that fulfils me but still puts my family and marriage first… and acted on loving on people more. Although life at home still feels busy, I describe it as “good busy.” I’m not busy for the sake of being busy. My time is spent with intention and each intention makes me very happy. Of course it’s always a work in progress as I am one who gets distracted. :) 

   So I write all this to share that we are in a good and happy place. We feel like we have persevered through the two years of ups and downs with settling and are hoping that we are entering into a more fruitful, mellow season in the years to come. Cheers and thanks be to God that two years have passed! We have so much to be thankful for.  

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i struggle, you struggle, we all struggle

I find it quite interesting that people think I have it all together. That my family is perfect and cute, that I’m super organized, have loads of friends, and in general, have it all. It is a great compliment I guess, but more so, I’m concerned that someone can truly believe that of me. I understand that my Facebook posts and pictures, along with my friendly ways and love for dressing up doesn’t scream out, “Hey, I’m struggling!” But truth be told, I do struggle!! I’m just as human as everyone else. I cry, feel alone at times, have self-doubt, areas of insecurities, and more! The family I have, which is driven by Daniel and my love for and commitment to one another takes hard work. There’s little complacency, loads of communication, compromise, and continually trying to outlove one another. However, even with this in place, our greatest struggle these days is sleep. We definitely need more of it, and less sick days. When we get hit with one or both villains, our household clutches to survive that day. Add the fact that Daniel is working hard growing and maintaining his business and stress levels increase in both of us. It seems as though every other week we are in survival mode. As a couple and family unit, this season has been the hardest for us. Even with the preparation and physical move abroad being a massive one, I’d say this season hurts us more. Daily we are challenged to be more patient with the kids, think clearly when our brain is mush, have hope that it’ll get better, lean on God’s will and ways, and persevere. Of course there’s been blessings hidden in every moment and corner, and we have taken notice to them more. As I write that sleep deprivation, sicknesses, and work demands are our biggest challenges right now, I do feel a bit silly when others are struggling more. But I’m also challenging myself to not compare or discount my experience. Of course it could be worst, I’ve lived through worst in my life, but this current struggle in our lives is real and powerful. To honor it and walk through this storm is necessary and part of our story.

She's 11 months!

    So why do I write this post? It’s been on my heart lately to remind us all that we are humans. I struggle, you struggle, we all struggle. No one is living the perfect life void of troubles. We each carry our challenges differently through varying ways of showcasing it and communicating it. Just because I may look like I have it all together doesn’t mean I’m trying to hide my pain. All it would take to learn about my struggle, and possibly someone else’s challenges is asking the right questions and being there. Open-ended questions, genuine interest in their well-being, no judgement, and desire to learn about their story. When I have done this, I have discovered amazing things about people, especially their personal strength and triumphs through life’s pain. I hope this post encourages you to share more of who you are to others, especially what you’re going through, and also to discover someone’s heart when engaging with them. Thank you to the ones who have been there for us during this time. Xx

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what i miss about the states

People ask me, “What do you miss most about the States?” My answer is always, “The people.” In other words, our community, our friends, our neighbors, our family, etc. We’ve been here for 1.5 years and there are still days I long for those casual dates with girl friends, young and older, talking about everything under the sun. I had my regular dinner dates, bible study group, mother’s helper, church community, double date friends, neighbors popping in, and more. I was surrounded,  supported,  and encouraged by many who knew my heart. I’m thankful for the seven years I had in San Diego to gain the friendships I now have for a lifetime. I grew a lot being on my own with my new husband and reaching some significant milestones like graduating with my Masters degree, buying a house, and having a baby. As well, I can’t forget the few friends I still have from living in the small town of Connecticut and going to uni there. You ladies know me the longest! As I write this, I’m wondering what I’m trying to get at, haha. Maybe it’s a thank you to my loved ones in the States (and those relocated elsewhere). Since our family prepared for and moved here, you guys have been amazing supporters, knowing that though you encouraged us to follow our dreams, it meant letting go of us. Thank you for your selflessness and positive attitude. I know you always let us know how much we are missed and we probably don’t do it enough since we are busy setting up our lives here. WE SURELY MISS YOU GUYS HEAPS!! We know we are walking in God’s will and this is the new chapter in our lives. We know your part in our last chapter was and is purposeful until God intersects us again. I’m already seeing how He is doing that!!

Happy 31st birthday to me

As I try to find new friends here, I remind myself that you’re irreplaceable. I wish I could clone y’all and reenact the same life here. I know I’m silly to think that and I know I’m silly to try to find replacements for the best friends I have already across the world. I just have to be patient and wise as I find the right women and couples to invest in as we journey here in the Gold Coast. I do thank God that He has blessed us with a church community of young families who are walking the same walk as us right now. It makes me not feel alone as I try to tackle motherhood daily.

Miss each one of you and am eternally grateful for your desire and commitment to remain in touch.

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