Yesterday while talking on the phone and pouring water for Zane, his water bottle spilled onto the laptop’s keyboard. In a blink, I had to act fast although it wasn’t fast enough. Our laptop is still sitting in rice and I’m hoping and praying it will survive this trauma. In a blink, all our files and pictures were gone. Luckily we had saved a lot of Zane’s pictures so I am not that devastated. However, there are files and pictures that weren’t saved, so we will have to see if it is possible to retrieve them. This incident dampened my morning. As I was sitting on the couch researching how to save the laptop, I kept hearing Zane make noises next to me. I must’ve ignored him for a few minutes. When I looked over he had a pillow held up over his face and was signaling/ waiting for me to play peek-a-boo. In the blink of that moment I was reminded of being in the moment and cherishing this beautiful play opportunity. I gave into this moment and then couldn’t help but resume to my worrying and trying to problem solve. Later that day, as I was grabbing some boba tea, I had a random encouraging talk with the cashier. Typically I never chat with them because it is strictly a business transaction. This brief conversation ended up being one that I knew was purposeful and even maybe was divine intervention. I encouraged him on his career journey and offered him a resource and parted with the words, “Do not give up!” His response, “Thanks! It is easy to.” This meaningful interaction was a blink in my day, yet had I not been open to it, it could have easily passed by. I have so many of these moments when I get a nudge or pull towards something or someone. And there are times I simply shrug it off and move on with my day. However, I am constantly reminded and have to remind myself that life passes by so quickly. These moments will pass by with just a few blinks. It is up to me to slow down my daily life and notice beautiful moments, beautiful people, and this beautiful life I am living. I hope you do too!
I am the type of mother who wants to keep doing things for myself post-baby. My first example, which may be silly to read is hanging onto having my own handbag. When I was pregnant I asked a few moms what they did because although I wanted to be practical (use a diaper bag all the time), I also didn’t want to “lose myself” (and things) to a big chunky bag that I paid $25 for made by Eddie Bauer. (I didn’t register for the expensive, trendy bags). As you’ve read in my other posts, I have a weakness for purses. They make me very happy. So hearing from other mothers that it made practical sense to merge my things and my baby’s things into one bag was not what I wanted to hear. My issue was the separation- literally and psychologically. I wanted to “keep” something from pre-baby and carry it into my post-baby life. I decided to give it a go and not listen and have been successful at it thus far. It turns out I am not the mama that carries her child’s diaper bag (which has turned into a backpack) every place she goes, but rather, let it sit in the car when needed. However, I always have a diaper and wipes in my purse. Another thing I’ve kept for myself has been blogging. I am nearing my blog’s 2 year anniversary and am proud of myself for making it a priority in my life. My blog brings me so much fulfillment, psychological relief, and purpose. Having this outlet and something to call my own has empowered me as a mama. And lastly, I have kept my girl and me time. Of course I’d love more, but to say that I have social outlets with my girl friends and self-care time is a huge feat for me, especially when I am tired many days! I am thankful that as a result, I have done a decent job maintaining my friendships. Although I share how I’ve successfully “kept” things for myself post-baby, not all things have remained, which I can blog about another day… The good news is I am content with how life has changed for me.
This may be an odd post to write, and probably read, but it’s been on my mind lately. While away in Fayetteville, NC, I was reminded of how much I dislike rain and cloudy days. I missed the sunny, warm days in San Diego that I realized I took for granted. I was reminded of one of the main reasons I left my hometown of North Haven, CT- the weather! It is fascinating to me how much the weather and overall climate of a place impacts my mood and overall well-being. When it was rainy and dreary, I stayed in, remained in my pajamas and was not motivated to do anything. I had low energy and felt less positive. Thankfully it was temporary, so I knew I could endure it since I’d be coming back to bliss here. Now back, I appreciate the clear blue skies, sometimes peppered with clouds. I love that I can be outdoors nearly everyday spending time at a park, friend’s house, our yard, the mall, etc. I love that when I am sitting on the couch or laying in bed, outside is bright and simply beautiful! There’s palm trees, green grass, and lots of activity. That’s another reason I love San Diego- there are lots of people and I can experience the city, suburb, desert, and mountains all within a short time. I love that 5 minutes away walking distance is a post office and a shopping center. And of course, I love the people I have come to know since being here for nearly 7 years. To return “home” away from family and to be received with warm hearts and friends’ desires to meet up ASAP makes me feel so loved and happy. How blessed am I? It’s always hard to leave family, especially when together for nearly a month, but to know I am loved here makes our return trip meaningful. I never thought I’d get to this point since my first few years in San Diego was rocky when trying to find meaningful relationships in a very transient city. So as you can read from my rambling, I am so glad to be back here and so thankful for what I have here.